James's Letters
by Mia-Marauder-Potter
Summary: The three letters that James wrote to Adelaide after she left for the future.
1. Chapter 1

**James's letters**

**Letter One**

_27th April, 1979_

_Addy. You left a week ago today. We've all been struggling, some more than others. I tried channeling it into the fight, but Sirius was right. It's not what you wanted for me, but what else can I do? _

_I feel like I need to talk to you, you know. The longer we fight, the harder it is to think about what will happen to me and, assumedly, Lily. How the hell did you live with us for years, knowing what you know? _

_If I'm being honest, I've struggled with whether or not to tell Lily that we're going to die. I think Mum noticed, because she sat me down and gave me a right talking to. Talked about how you sacrificed so much, being with us and putting yourself through hell, through war again, just for us. She said I'd be spitting on the memory of you if I tried to change anything. _

_But I need to know… what would I even change? What would I have to do different to keep my family alive and together? What mistake are we going to make? _

_I know you're reading this twenty years in the future, but… tell me. Just tell me, Addy. Give me that, even if I won't know. Let me pretend I had a choice in this._

_All my love,_

_James._


	2. Chapter 2

**James's Letters**

**Letter Two**

_29th December, 1979_

_Hey Addy. _

_I didn't really think I'd write another one of these, but… It feels wrong, not letting you know, even though you already know. _

_Today there was a sudden, aggressive outbreak of Dragon Pox in St. Mungo's. We think it was some sort of targeted attack. A lot of people died. It was bad. Mum and Dad were there for a meeting with the board and they didn't make it. _

_I'm not really sure what to do now. I can't get letters to Moony and a Patronus is too dangerous… I can't really let him know until he gets back. I feel useless. I guess that's why I'm writing this. At least I can tell you. _

_The funeral is in two days. We're going to bury them in the Potter cemetery. We've reserved plots for Lily and myself, but also for you, Sirius, Remus, their spouses, and Regulus. Leon is welcome to join us only after he writes out a heartfelt apology and turns it over to Sirius for inspection. He's __**almost**_ _as pissed as I am about Leon just leaving like that. _

_We have more news that you obviously know… Lily's pregnant. I think it's Harry. You never really said if he had siblings, but I'm guessing not. You also told us your birthdate, and you must've been born a few months ago. It's weird existing in a world with you when you aren't really __**you**__._

_I miss you. We all miss you. It isn't right without you here, but there isn't much we can do about it. Instead of fighting for you, I'm going to live as much of my life as happy as possible. I hope you'll do the same for me. _

_Love,_

_James._


	3. Chapter 3

**James's Letters**

**Letter Three**

_28th October, 1981_

_Adelaide,_

_It's been a while since I've written one of these. This will be the last one. _

_It took me a really long time to work it out, but I did. I've got it. You always knew you'd said too much, didn't you? Sometimes I think you weren't trying to preserve the future. Sometimes I think you wanted us to change it. Right now, I'm convinced of it. _

_I'm writing this letter because I can't sleep. I haven't actually done much sleeping in the past few days since I figured it out. Admittedly, it took me a while. I didn't really want to believe it, but every time I think about it, it just makes so much sense. _

_Why don't I break it down for you? You already know everything I'm about to say, but keep reading anyway._

_I think the first clue was being put into hiding a year ago. It was actually a year ago on Halloween that we were hidden, and I couldn't get the date out of my head. 31st October, 1980. It was important, but wrong, wasn't it? _

_Because you told Sirius, and he told us. 31st October, 1981. That's the date. The one you had to leave by. But why? You never told us. Sirius said he asked, but you refused to say. _

_But then you didn't leave then. That pissed Sirius off pretty bad, I think. After he got over being upset that you were gone, he was pissed that you'd left so early. I think it was especially because we don't know __**why**_ _you left early. What happened at that raid? That Death Eater got really close to you, but what did he say? What'd he do?_

_I guess that's beside the point. _

_So, you left early. Sirius moved on, but I feel like it was more than the raid, wasn't it? You changed your mind. Halloween this year was too late to leave. There was something that wasn't right. Something you'd change if you were here when it happened. _

_After I figured that out, I spent a little over a month trying to figure out what the fuck was so important that you had to leave - what you'd change just by existing in this time. And it wasn't really until Remus came home and visited us that I realized the answer to that question. _

_Remus asked why he wasn't picked as Secret Keeper. We told him that he was doing too dangerous of a job, working with the packs. He said that it should've been you. _

_It should've. _

_It would've. _

_It hit me as soon as he said it that __**you**_ _being entrusted with our safety was what would've changed. Because as much as we care about Peter, you are logically a better choice. Not to be insensitive, but you survived hours of torture and didn't even give up what Bellatrix wanted. You'd have kept us safe, wouldn't you?_

_So it was something about Peter being Secret Keeper, then. Which kinda makes sense. He's not as strong as the rest of us, and he's had questionable morals for a few years now. _

_There was more to it. It got me really thinking about Peter, then. Peter and you. _

_Do you remember when we met for the first time? I do. You saved us from being cursed by those fifth years, and we introduced ourselves. You sort of looked like you were going to throw up when you saw Peter. I just thought you were feeling sick from the train. _

_Then you really didn't like him. You __**never**_ _liked him. You went out of your way to avoid him, and when you were forced to be together, you were borderline cruel. After three years of it, we stopped asking and just kept you two apart. _

_Dumbledore told us there's a spy in the Order, did you know? I guess he did a test with us and talked about a safehouse for the Bones' that was actually empty, and it got raided the next day. He's compartmentalizing now. He doesn't trust us anymore, and why should he? _

_Thing is, I know who the spy is. It was really hard, coming to terms with it, honestly. Peter's been one of my best friends for as long as you have. But he's never really been like us, has he? He's never been angry at the injustice we're facing in this war. He was never __**really**_ _supportive of Moony. I think he only became an Animagus because the rest of us were. _

_Sirius and Remus had a falling out a few months ago that left Sirius certain that Remus is the spy, but he's wrong. It's Peter. _

_Peter is also our Secret Keeper._

_You originally said you had to leave by 31st October, 1981._

_Peter… he's a Death Eater._

_All of this put together suggests that we're going to die in a few days. We're going to die and you knew when, how, and presumably why. _

_I can't fucking imagine that. I can't imagine knowing Sirius is going to die and being able to stop it, but not doing it. _

_I'm not saying this because I'm mad, Addy. I'm saying this because I want you to know that I understand what's going to happen, and I know I have the ability to change it. I have the ability to change it and I'm not going to. _

_You worked so hard to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be in the future. You, Regulus, Fabian and Gideon, Avery, Leon… you deserve the future as much as you deserved the past. _

_I want you to give Harry the memories you have. The good ones. Show him our wedding, but also show him the day Lily said yes when I asked her out. Show him your favorite memories of us and let him know who we are as people. _

_Anyway, I've gone on long enough. As I said, this will be my last letter to you, should everything go the way I think it will. So a few final words. _

_I love you, Adelaide. You're my sister. You are family. I will never regret meeting you or having you in my life. I want you to live a happy, fulfilled life. Take care of my son and our friends, but always take care of yourself. If you can't do that, let the people around you take care of you. _

_I need to get back to bed before Lily comes to find me. _

_All my love and all my thanks,_

_Your brother, James. _


End file.
